What Is Trauma? A Compassionate Look at How It Affects Us

At my practice, many of the individuals I work with arrive carrying emotional wounds that have often been unacknowledged or minimized for years. Some recognize they’ve lived through trauma. Others aren’t quite sure—they just know something feels “off,” disconnected, or heavy.

If you’ve ever wondered whether something from your past might still be affecting how you feel, think, or relate to others today, this post is for you.

Understanding Trauma

Trauma is not defined solely by the experiences you’ve been through—it’s also about how your nervous system responded to those events in order to survive. When something is too overwhelming, too fast, or too much for your system to process, your body and brain adapt in ways to keep you safe. These adaptations are deeply intelligent—even if they later become distressing or disruptive.

Psychologically, trauma is a response to any experience that exceeds your capacity to cope. This could be a sudden event like an accident or loss, or it could stem from repeated or ongoing stressors—such as emotional neglect, systemic oppression, or feeling unseen and unsafe in childhood or adulthood.

You don’t need to compare your story to someone else’s to justify your pain. If it felt overwhelming or left a lasting impact—it matters.

When Others Don’t Understand Trauma

One of the most painful parts of living with trauma can be the reactions of those around you.

Maybe you’ve heard things like:

• “Stop dwelling on the past.”

• “You just need to move on.”

• “It wasn’t that bad.”

• “Other people have it worse.”

While these comments may be intended to help, they often land as dismissive or shaming, especially when you’re doing your best just to stay afloat.

Trauma isn’t something you can simply “snap out of.” These reactions reflect a misunderstanding of how trauma works in the body and mind. At its core, trauma is not about memory—it’s about how your nervous system adapted to survive, and how it may still be stuck in patterns of protection.

If you’ve experienced this kind of invalidation, please know: your experience is real. Your healing matters. You’re not too sensitive, too dramatic, or making it up.

Common Types of Trauma in Adults

Trauma can take many forms. In our work together, we might explore:

• Single-incident trauma – Events such as a car crash, assault, natural disaster, or sudden loss.

• Developmental or complex trauma – Often beginning in early childhood, involving chronic neglect, emotional or physical abuse, or lack of safety in the home.

• Relational trauma – Harm experienced in close relationships, such as manipulation, betrayal, emotional withdrawal, or inconsistent caregiving.

• Medical trauma – Distressing or disempowering medical experiences, especially involving pain, helplessness, or loss of control. This can also include birth trauma, chronic illness, or invasive procedures.

• Generational trauma – The inherited emotional impact of trauma experienced by previous generations. This can be passed down through family patterns, relational wounds, or even biology.

• Work-related trauma – Exposure to chronic stress or crisis in high-pressure professions such as healthcare, emergency response, or military service.

It’s okay if you don’t remember everything. Your body often holds the memory in ways the mind cannot. That is not a weakness—it is a survival strategy.

How Trauma Affects Daily Life

Unresolved trauma doesn’t always look dramatic. It can show up in subtle, persistent ways:

• Feeling chronically anxious, overwhelmed, or emotionally flat

• Trouble sleeping, or never feeling rested

• Repeating painful relationship patterns or avoiding connection altogether

• A harsh inner critic or deep sense of shame

• Difficulty trusting others—or yourself

• Feeling “stuck” or easily triggered

These are not personal failings. They are signs of a nervous system still doing its job to protect you—even if those patterns are no longer needed.

You Are Not Broken—You’re Human!!

One of the most common things I hear is: “I should be over this by now.”

Healing isn’t about erasing the past—it’s about learning to feel safe again, in your body, your relationships, and your inner world. Recovery is not a straight line. It’s a compassionate, non-linear process of reconnecting with the parts of you that were hurt or hidden along the way.

You don’t have to “be stronger.” You just need safety, support, and space to heal on your own terms.

Healing Is Possible—And You Don’t Have to Do It Alone!!!

At my practice, I use trauma-informed, evidence-based approaches tailored to your unique experience. These may include:

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Helping shift unhelpful thought patterns

• Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) – Building mindfulness and value-driven action

• Somatic therapies – Reconnecting with the wisdom of the body

• Internal Family Systems (IFS) – Healing and harmonizing your inner parts

• Mindfulness and grounding techniques – Helping regulate and soothe the nervous system

You do not have to relive every detail of your trauma to heal. What’s most important is creating a space where you feel safe, empowered, and in control of your story.

When You’re Ready, We’re Here

If this resonates with you, please know: your pain is valid. Healing is possible. You don’t have to carry it alone.

Whether you’re just starting to explore how your past may still be living in your present, or you’ve already been walking this path for a while, I’m here to walk alongside you with care and respect.

You are not too much. You are not broken. You are responding in the most adaptive way you know—and that is something we can work with, gently and compassionately.